shadow

feat. d. marvi

I.

Nestled between the borders of two negligent worlds is an an unmapped valley, populated only by shadows.

II.

I sometimes manifest as a hazy, nebulous thing in a place of sharp angles. Other times I am a lump of coagulated honey studded with bee stings, messily interrupting the placid order of a soft space. No matter my shape, I am only a moving dimness levitating slightly with unrealized and unspent energy, floating aimlessly.

III.

More smoke than sound, the words barely echo in the depths of the valley. I'm still begging for the answers to these questions. I can't do much else but haunt these shadowy fields, each step crushing the star bright white flowers of forgetfulness and trampling the dainty rosey berries of hatefulness.

IV.

I am seafoam waiting to become flesh, half born and wholly unwanted. Perpetually met with cringes and sighs, a cruel magic that dissolves the tender half body I built up into a pool of murky water. I am hovering between realities without being able to settle comfortably into either. Lingering on the periphery eternally. Constantly craving phantoms that never existed. Tormented by what could have been and what I am not. Yearning for rest. Praying for a true home. I am exhausted. I tire of swallowing sorrow and gulping down grief, yet still starving.

V.

Compulsively and continuously gathering up as much of myself as I can. Writing down self definitions and filing them away under the roots of a pomegranate tree. Manifesting myself with the everyday magic of arranging words. I live in my loneliness, exchanging electric shocks with the other flickering shadows who glide past me in this liminality. My touch turns things to ash but I still sup upon these small particles of reality, blessed by their bygone beauty.

What I am, at this point in time, according to myself :

Writing by D.K.A.
Illustration by Tonia



Photography by Hawa